Esau's Story

I love nothing more than when God allows me to be His physical arms for the week here in Zambia. I come across hundreds of orphans a day, but sometimes God connects your heart in a special way to one little heart. Violet obviously is one of God’s greatest gifts to me and was the first little one whose heart mine was bonded with. But this past week, I was blessed to be linked to little Blessings as well. Yes, his name is Blessings…at least it is now. You see, Blessings is a six-year-old boy who has a twin named Emmanuel. But Blessing and Emmanuel were not always named Blessing and Emmanuel. Their father had left them at a very young age, and their mother is heavily involved in witchcraft and severely neglects them. Yes, witchcraft is real here, and I won’t go into too much detail because I know that in the states we think that sort of thing is crazy, but trust me, it is real here and it permeates these children’s lives. It is how Satan attacks here, and it constantly breaks my heart to see how affected and abused these two kids She had named her boys Esau and Jacob. Can you imagine naming your sons after two brothers who had a history of fighting and anger in the Bible? And let me tell you, these little boys were so neglected and unwanted. You could see it in their eyes, because their eyes were full of anger and hurt. Blessings, formerly called Esau, continually fought with the other boys and carried around a rock at the beginning of the week that he would throw at the other boys. He wouldn’t go anywhere without the rock. One day during big group session a little boy had accidently kicked Blessings and his twin, and they both just exploded in anger, especially Blessings. The leaders took them outside so they wouldn’t disturb the other boys, and they decided to focus on calming down Jacob because Esau wouldn’t even look anyone in the eyes or focus on them at all. I saw this entire thing happening from up above in what we call “the crow’s nest” where I do the motions to the songs so the Americans have someone to follow. I ran outside immediately because I had seen the darkness in Esau’s eyes that morning while we were taking the kid’s pictures with their American counselor. I found Esau standing alone against a wall with a rock in his hand, pacing back and forth. This is where my “mommy instincts” kicked in. One look at Esau and I knew that he was never held and that the only way to truly fix this situation and help him would be to just hold him. I got down on my knees and looked him in the eye – something that these kids NEVER experience here. Children are considered trash; they are unwanted and looked at as a burden because they are an extra mouth to feed. Most of the population of Zambia lives on less than $1 per day so there really isn’t financial backing for the infinite amount of orphans here, but you can imagine the problem that occurs when there is nothing to do during the day and no birth control, I don’t need to go into details. Anyways, I picked Esau up, carried him back inside, and sat down in a corner with him in my lap. At first he struggled against me a little bit, but once he realized that I was just going to hold him, he stared up at me for a few seconds and then put his head right on top of my heartbeat and kept it there for the next 30 minutes as I sat there wondering how a mother could neglect such a precious child. His skin was so dirty and you could tell that he hadn’t been bathed in quite some time. He was extremely malnourished and I could feel his need for physical touch from his mother. It was one of those moments that I knew God was allowing me to be His comforting arms for this child. He was going to comfort this child no matter what, but he privileged me and let me join Him in that endeavor.

We always hear the line “He is a father to the fatherless” and I have to say, that rings true. Jeremiah 49:11 even talks about it, saying “Leave your fatherless children; I will keep them alive; and let your widows trust in me.” God always sustains the fatherless, and since my days are full of hearing the heartbreaking stories of unwanted children, I have to constantly remind myself that God loves these children FAR MORE than I ever could. I truly believe that He rejoices in their joy during the day, but that He weeps over their cries in the darkness of night. He never intended for the world to be this broken, but this brokenness is a result of our sin and that was our choice. So while He is coming back one day and will perfect that which is shattered, for right now, He just gives us small peeks of His coming kingdom. These glimpses come in the bright smile of an orphan, in the ringing of laughter from a dirt field where hundreds of Zambian children play, or in quiet moment of hugging a fatherless child close to your heart and lavishing love upon them. Those are the moments that God often presents and blesses us with, if we are willing to watch and embrace them. They are the little moments that so often get overlooked in our busy American lives, in my busy American life. But here in Zambia, I live and breathe for these moments, because they are what God uses to overflow my cup with joy, joy that only can overflow because it is a direct gift from Him. Esau, or should I say Blessings, was one of those strings of “sweet little moments.” He is a string of jewels that will now be stored in my treasure forever!