Following in Humbled Faith

The Year of the Lord's Favor - Isaiah 61

 The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,

because the Lord has tanointed me

to bring good news to the poor;1

he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim liberty to the captives,

and uthe opening of the prison to those who are bound;2

2 to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor,

and the day of vengeance of our God;

to comfort all who mourn;

3 to grant to those who mourn in Zion—

to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;

that they may be called oaks of righteousness,

the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.3

4 They shall build up the ancient ruins;

they shall raise up the former devastations;

they shall repair the ruined cities,

the devastations of many generations.

5 Strangers shall stand and tend your flocks;

foreigners shall be your plowmen and vinedressers;

6 but you shall be called the priests of the Lord;

they shall speak of you as the ministers of our God;

you shall eat the wealth of the nations,

and in their glory you shall boast.

7 Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion;

instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot;

therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion;

they shall have everlasting joy.

8 For I the Lord love justice;

I hate robbery and wrong;

I will faithfully give them their recompense,

and I will make an everlasting covenant with them.

9 Their offspring shall be known among the nations,

and their descendants in the midst of the peoples;

all who see them shall acknowledge them,

that they are an offspring the Lord has blessed.

10 I will greatly rejoice in the Lord;

my soul shall exult in my God,

for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;

he has covered me with the robe of righteousness,

as a bridegroom decks himself llike a priest with a beautiful headdress,

and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

11 For as the earth brings forth its sprouts,

and as a garden causes what is sown in it to sprout up,

so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise

to sprout up before all the nations.

This passage is my life's calling, and has been a constant reminder of why I am here. Zambia is where the Lord has called me to "bind up the broken-hearted" and "proclaim liberty to the captives" for right now. But if we're being honest, all Christians have been called to do these things, it just looks different for everyone. So the question I want to pose tonight is "Where are you binding up the broken-hearted and freeing the captives?" It could be anywhere, and don't limit yourself to what you want the answer to be, because trust me, if it is uncomfortable and is not exactly what you desire, then it is EXACTLY where the Lord wants you. Because that place of discomfort requires faith. And faith is the conviction of what is unseen. This journey has been one of faith for me, but I have seen the Lord's hand so mightily at work over the past four weeks. I am so humbled when I think about how the Lord has let me be a part of His plan here in Zambia. This week has been an unexpected challenge for me in many ways, but I know that the Lord has ordained this week for me. So I keep going, knowing that the Lord has placed this calling on my life and that this is what the Lord has required of me. I follow in blind faith, knowing that His path leads to unending joy and contentment. This is the greatest adventure of my life thus far, and I encourage you to follow in blind faith as well, because it will be a far better journey than you could have ever conjured up in your small human brain!

Going to Work with My Daddy

Since becoming a Christian my freshman year in high school, there have been many times where I have seen the Lord go to work and change people's lives or write their stories for them. Over time, I have developed this metaphor that I love to use when God is doing work and changing lives and sometimes lets us accompany him along the way. Let's be honest, He never needs our help in executing His will, but sometimes my Daddy just takes me to work with Him and lets me help, and those are the moments where your life is touched because God allows you to see something wondrously beautiful that only God is capable of doing. On Wednesday morning, my Daddy took me to work with Him, and what an incredible day it turned out to be!

The morning was a chilly one in Zambia, and since my best friend Kelsey Turman was here this past week, I was off in the field talking with her before the kids showed up for camp on the buses. Of course, socializing with Kelsey meant that I was neglecting a few of my responsibilities like taking make-up pictures and sizing kid's feet. Anyways, after I finished talking to Kelsey for a good 30 minutes, I meandered back over to where the make-up activities were happening, only to realize that the other staff members had filled in doing the jobs therefore leaving me with no real job to be doing, something I was just fine with because it allowed me to hang out with the kids who were waiting to get there pictures taken. I love to hear their little laughs, it seriously is the most precious thing in the world so I spend about half my time here being a complete goofball (shocking I know) so that I can hear them laugh. As I stood there with the kids, the Lord directed my attention to a little boy standing off to the side who was watching all the commotion. He approached me and said that his name was Chilufya, and then he mumbled something about seeing his dad and needing to go. I was intrigued by this little boy, but the other kids were pulling on my t-shirt and my attention was quickly diverted back to them. But the Lord wasn't through with Chilufya and I yet, and the little guy came back and we ended up sitting down on the curb together. The boy spoke English extremely well, which is pretty rare to find among the poor children of Zambia. The conversation was fairly brief, but in those five minutes I learned that this sweet little boy was actually not the six year old that he appeared to be. He was actually fifteen years old and he was very sick with tuberculosis. It broke my heart to hear this, because this boy looked sickly and was malnourished to a point that we can't even begin to fathom in America. He was at the GO Center because his father had brought him to the clinic next door to get medicine for his TB. Towards the end of our conversation, he looked up at me with eyes that were too big for his famished face and said, "Megan, I just have one thing to ask of you. When you all go inside for the big session, can I come with you after I finish getting my medicine?" Remember that I said in an earlier blog post that I am the bottom of the totem pole this summer here, and that I truly have zero authority. But in that moment, I didn't care that I had absolutely no authority to say yes. I mean, how could I tell a sick boy No to hearing about Jesus? I spoke with conviction that I didn't have and told Chilufya to come find me in about 30 minutes and that I would take him into the big session with me. 

I marched right inside and for the next 30 minutes, I "pulled a Megan." I went and found different staff members and told them what had happened and said that I was bringing this boy into camp and that I wanted him put in a group. Of course I was nice about it, but I wasn't going to take no for an answer, so it's a really good thing that they said yes! I sought out the Zambian zone leaders from his village of Kalingalinga/Mtendere and we walked straight into the Zambian clinic full of patients next door and sought out Chilufya and his father in order to get consent for him to be at camp. Imagine how I must have looked, a muzungu (white person) walking through a packed clinic of Zambians seeking out a very sick boy and his father and hoping that they were still there. But God had sent me on this mission, and I wasn't going to quit until it was complete because I knew what my Daddy wanted from me. He just desired me to be His physical feet and voice that day so that Chilufya could go to camp. After Crispin, Kelvin, and I talked to the boy's father and received a yes, I waited inside the GO Center for him to finish getting his medicine and then come over for camp. No lie, Chilufya walked in three minutes before the big session started, and I must say I was just marveling at God's precise timing. I had added him to a group for the day (yes, just added him in and basically told the American whose group it was that he had a new kid and told him "Hope you're ok with that!" Thankfully he was!) and then went upstairs to do the hand motions for everyone like normal. Afterwards, I saw Chilufya leaving to go out to small group time and he had the biggest smile on his face; I knew he had had fun, his smile said it all. I walked to the kitchen, personally grabbed four slices of bread and a maheu (the lunch that we give the kids) and walked that over to his new group so that I could insure that Chilufya wasn't forgotten for lunch. Afterwards, I went inside to eat my own lunch and was feeling pretty good that I had helped God finish a task for the day.

However, the Lord wasn't done with Chilufya or I yet. About an hour later, one of the other girls on staff walked in with Chilufya and said he was asking for me. He wanted an evangecube, so I grabbed mine from my backpack and we walked outside and sat on the same curb from the morning together again. I decided to share it with him because I couldn't stand the thought of passing up the opportunity. I will say that there is such an urgency when I am here to share the gospel because I never know what these kids will go home to. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I passed up an opportunity and then the kid happened to be beaten to death or die from AIDS a week later. It honestly has taught me a lot about how I should be living my life with urgency in the states as well. Sorry about that little tangent! As I began to share the evangecube with Chilufya, I realized how incredibly inadequate I am when I was trying to put a voice to the Lord's deep love for this little boy, and I understood in that moment that God was going to have to be translating this perfectly for this little guy to understand, because I was butchering the greatest thing that has ever happened in this world. After I finished, I awkwardly asked if he had understood and then asked if he wanted to ask Jesus into his heart, but he told me that he had "already accepted Jesus tomorrow." I was puzzled and continued to pry, learning that he had mistaken "tomorrow" for "today." Chilufya had accepted Christ into his heart quietly in his small group time after hearing the big session and understanding John 3:16! I was IN SHOCK because I couldn't believe what a divine appointment the Lord had clearly meant for the morning to be. It was truly one of those moments in life where words can't adequately express the gratitude, wonder, and love I felt for the Lord for letting me be apart of such an incredible thing. 

To wrap things up, the day finished wonderfully and Chilufya was thrilled. I learned later on that not only does he have tuberculosis, but he also is HIV positive which never fails to be devastating news, even though you hear it all the time about kids you love here. But the great news is that whether Chilufya gets to live another week or another ten years, I will one day see my new little brother in Heaven because of the Lord's grace. I asked the staff if he could come to camp for the rest of the week, and because they're wonderful, they said yes. I was also able to personally take Chilufya's feet and size him for a pair of brand new school shoes and a t-shirt, and on Friday he was treated just like the prince in the Kingdom of God (the theme this year) that he truly is now. So on Wednesday, my Daddy took me to work with Him and He also adopted a new little brother for me named Chilufya. Talk about a wonderful Wednesday!

"Be Still and Know"

First of all, I apologize ahead of time if this post is rather incoherent at parts and if it jumps around a bunch, I am physically exhausted as I write this and it is 12:20 a.m., but it is the first time in about 4 days I've had an opportunity to get on the internet, and I just had to snag it while I had the small window of opportunity. Ok, with that out of the way, here I go!

I feel like I can't say this enough -- I LOVE every moment that I am here in Zambia. That doesn't mean that there aren't hard moments, but it does mean that I am able to find purpose and reason behind every little thing I do in my day here. I go to bed completely exhausted and 100% content at the end of everyday because I know that I have spent my time during the day well. I once had a wise teacher tell me that in life, you need to find a job that combines what you love with what you are good at, and let me tell you, that is the wisest advice I have ever heard and that is what I feel like I have found. My strengths perfectly match what I spend my days doing, and I am so passionate about these orphans that I LOVE what I do. It's a recipe for success, and I believe that God wants us all to live a life that is a "recipe for success." 

So continuing on that tangent, while I love my days here and I love being swarmed with adorable little African children, I will say that I have learned that I need a little bit of alone time every day in order to function at full capacity. That alone time for me is my daily run. God has wired me to need to run as my outlet; it helps me clear my head and sort through my emotions. It is my time to talk to God, and I need my God time for sure! Anyways, my favorite time of the day in Zambia is the sunset because, trust me, you have NEVER seen anything more beautiful than a Zambian sunset. It's when God paints the sky, and He is kind enough to allow us to watch Him paint His masterpiece everyday and yet so often we don't take the time to stop and just admire our Creator's work. There is this one back corner of the village where the hill dips downward so the wall on that side of it is lower and allows you to see the sunset clearly. And today, I couldn't help but stop and gape at the beauty of the sky. I had a dear friend of mine encourage me before I left to take time to just be still while I was in Zambia, and right when I stopped running and just stood staring into the horizon, that old song by Steven Curtis Chapman called "Be Still and Know" came on my iPod. I don't know if I consider that ironic or if God completely meant for that to happen...I think I'll go with the latter though! It was a solid five minutes of me being able to "Be Still and Know" that God is mighty, loving, kind, merciful...on and on the list could go. I was enraptured in the beauty of the Lord's painting that was before my eyes, and I know that God ordained those five minutes for me today to be reminded that He is the giver of rest and the only one who fills me up when I need to be filled up. I am able to pour out everyday because the Lord makes my cup overflow with joy constantly here, and He gives me rest when I need it and knows exactly how to fortify my heart. He allows me to have time to just "Be Still and Know," and what a blessing from my King! 

Esau's Story

I love nothing more than when God allows me to be His physical arms for the week here in Zambia. I come across hundreds of orphans a day, but sometimes God connects your heart in a special way to one little heart. Violet obviously is one of God’s greatest gifts to me and was the first little one whose heart mine was bonded with. But this past week, I was blessed to be linked to little Blessings as well. Yes, his name is Blessings…at least it is now. You see, Blessings is a six-year-old boy who has a twin named Emmanuel. But Blessing and Emmanuel were not always named Blessing and Emmanuel. Their father had left them at a very young age, and their mother is heavily involved in witchcraft and severely neglects them. Yes, witchcraft is real here, and I won’t go into too much detail because I know that in the states we think that sort of thing is crazy, but trust me, it is real here and it permeates these children’s lives. It is how Satan attacks here, and it constantly breaks my heart to see how affected and abused these two kids She had named her boys Esau and Jacob. Can you imagine naming your sons after two brothers who had a history of fighting and anger in the Bible? And let me tell you, these little boys were so neglected and unwanted. You could see it in their eyes, because their eyes were full of anger and hurt. Blessings, formerly called Esau, continually fought with the other boys and carried around a rock at the beginning of the week that he would throw at the other boys. He wouldn’t go anywhere without the rock. One day during big group session a little boy had accidently kicked Blessings and his twin, and they both just exploded in anger, especially Blessings. The leaders took them outside so they wouldn’t disturb the other boys, and they decided to focus on calming down Jacob because Esau wouldn’t even look anyone in the eyes or focus on them at all. I saw this entire thing happening from up above in what we call “the crow’s nest” where I do the motions to the songs so the Americans have someone to follow. I ran outside immediately because I had seen the darkness in Esau’s eyes that morning while we were taking the kid’s pictures with their American counselor. I found Esau standing alone against a wall with a rock in his hand, pacing back and forth. This is where my “mommy instincts” kicked in. One look at Esau and I knew that he was never held and that the only way to truly fix this situation and help him would be to just hold him. I got down on my knees and looked him in the eye – something that these kids NEVER experience here. Children are considered trash; they are unwanted and looked at as a burden because they are an extra mouth to feed. Most of the population of Zambia lives on less than $1 per day so there really isn’t financial backing for the infinite amount of orphans here, but you can imagine the problem that occurs when there is nothing to do during the day and no birth control, I don’t need to go into details. Anyways, I picked Esau up, carried him back inside, and sat down in a corner with him in my lap. At first he struggled against me a little bit, but once he realized that I was just going to hold him, he stared up at me for a few seconds and then put his head right on top of my heartbeat and kept it there for the next 30 minutes as I sat there wondering how a mother could neglect such a precious child. His skin was so dirty and you could tell that he hadn’t been bathed in quite some time. He was extremely malnourished and I could feel his need for physical touch from his mother. It was one of those moments that I knew God was allowing me to be His comforting arms for this child. He was going to comfort this child no matter what, but he privileged me and let me join Him in that endeavor.

We always hear the line “He is a father to the fatherless” and I have to say, that rings true. Jeremiah 49:11 even talks about it, saying “Leave your fatherless children; I will keep them alive; and let your widows trust in me.” God always sustains the fatherless, and since my days are full of hearing the heartbreaking stories of unwanted children, I have to constantly remind myself that God loves these children FAR MORE than I ever could. I truly believe that He rejoices in their joy during the day, but that He weeps over their cries in the darkness of night. He never intended for the world to be this broken, but this brokenness is a result of our sin and that was our choice. So while He is coming back one day and will perfect that which is shattered, for right now, He just gives us small peeks of His coming kingdom. These glimpses come in the bright smile of an orphan, in the ringing of laughter from a dirt field where hundreds of Zambian children play, or in quiet moment of hugging a fatherless child close to your heart and lavishing love upon them. Those are the moments that God often presents and blesses us with, if we are willing to watch and embrace them. They are the little moments that so often get overlooked in our busy American lives, in my busy American life. But here in Zambia, I live and breathe for these moments, because they are what God uses to overflow my cup with joy, joy that only can overflow because it is a direct gift from Him. Esau, or should I say Blessings, was one of those strings of “sweet little moments.” He is a string of jewels that will now be stored in my treasure forever!

I Was Made to Worship HIM

How often do we forget this simple truth? If I have learned anything while being here, it is that I was 150% created to worship my King, and that means in everything I do. Everything that I am, every breath that I take is a gift. I love watching the sunsets here in Lusaka because I feel like those are the moments where I get to sit and watch my King paint a beautiful masterpiece and constantly remind me of His greatness, of His majesty. What a wonderful word to use to describe my Savior: MAJESTIC. He is. He is more loving and compassionate and just than I have ever known before, and the depth to which He has shown me His love lately still amazes me. I wish I could put into words all that I have learned, but words will never be able to convey the immensity of the Lord’s presence in my life right now. And when I say this, I do not mean that it is easy. In fact, it has been an incredibly hard week and a half. This job constantly humbles me and puts me in my place (which is at the very bottom of the totem pole might I add), yet I have never felt such contentment in my life. I go to bed every night completely satisfied that I spent my day doing exactly what God has asked me to do. I spend my days working hard and kissing the faces of God’s little angels while working. I continually get to interact with children that are considered to be the “trash” here, but in my eyes they are jewels. I know that God sees them that way too, and though they are infested with germs and covered with dirt, it is like uncovering a diamond in the rough. 

I love watching God transform their hearts as they learn about Him throughout the week at camp; I love seeing God give them freedom from the demons that so often haunt the children of this country. You see, here in Zambia, Satan attacks in a very real and obvious way. Spiritual warfare is everywhere because witchcraft is so prevalent. But take it from me; I have seen the power of God at work, and God ALWAYS WINS! And I love when I get the privilege of watching it happen. It has strengthened my faith and I cannot even begin to tell you how much I BELIEVE that Jesus died for not only my sins, but for the sins of these orphans as well! This is a conviction that I know deeply within my heart and soul; it is the one thing in this world that completely know to be true. NOTHING will be able to take this away from me ever, I have seen God’s power at work far too much, and He has allowed me into His heart by letting me spend my days playing with and loving on His crown jewels, the orphaned children of Zambia. 

A Moment from Heaven

Saturday was truly the best day of my life thus far. I watched my little girl move into this dream house (by Zambian standards). I have dreamed of our reunion since we said goodbye last year, but of course Satan was great at making me worry about that moment and that Violet wouldn’t remember me. I know it’s a crazy thought after everything that happened last year, but Satan had made me really question if maybe I had thought last year was more special than it really was. BUT SATAN WAS SO WRONG! That moment was truly a gift from God! As the bus drove down the dirt road to the Tree of Life, I spotted Violet through the window of the bus on the opposite side from me. Of course, I started yelling her name and she heard me, saw my face, and no joke jumped across the bus straight to my window beaming, grabbed my hand through the window and said, “I love you so much.” I cannot even begin to fully describe the emotion that filled me at that moment. I ran alongside the bus holding her hand until the bus stopped, at which point she jumped THROUGH the window into my arms and clung to me and kept saying over and over (in both English and Nyanjan) “Nikukonda managi managi” a.k.a. “I love you so much.” I was shocked to hear that tiny bit of English come out of her mouth because last year she couldn’t utter a word of English. Then I got to walk her to her new house, which is adequately dubbed “The Freedom House” and let her look around for the first time. Her face was priceless when she saw that she had her very own bed to sleep in for the first time ever that had three of her very own stuffed animals on it. She was speechless. And then I showed her that she had a closet full of clothes (well it’s probably got four outfits per kid and she will share the closet space with three other girls) but four outfits to a kid who was wearing the exact same thing that she was wearing a year ago are a lot of new outfits! I asked her what she wanted to wear and the first thing she wanted to put on was a frilly purple tutu that totally didn’t match the red fleece she already had on (of course I wanted to put her in matching clothes and get her all dressed cute) but she wanted that purple tutu so you know what? For probably the first time in her life she got to wear a purple tutu, I mean how could you tell that sweet face no?!

This was the sweetest moment that I have ever had in my entire life. The little moments like watching her hug her very own stuffed animal for the first time. Oh and I have to add that she had her first Starburst ever yesterday. She couldn’t believe that there were eight Starbursts on her bed all for her and she didn’t know how to eat it; I had to teach her how to chew a Starburst. Those are the precious little moments that I loved most about yesterday. Her awe and wonder at the things that I take for granted…She is constantly reminding me without even knowing it to be grateful for what I have been given; God just so happened to package this reminder in a pint-size girl named Violet whom I love dearly. She is such a gift from God!

I have also learned so much about serving quietly and behind the scenes. It has amazed me how much work goes into making a non-profit run, and I had no idea how much work I would be doing. It has challenged me to let someone else be in charge and to just sit back and joyfully do the grunt work. It has been so good for me, but I must say it has also been a huge struggle because we work (and I mean HARD work) about 17 hours a day and I am exhausted at the end of it. This morning I read Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” Yes, I have probably read that verse before, but trust me it has taken on a whole new meaning here because this has been a very hard adjustment for me. As much as I love Zambia and orphans, it is a totally different game serving behind the scenes and it is a lesson I have needed to learn. So may I ask that your prayers be with me right now as I adjust to really having to be the bottom of the totem pole where no one particularly wants to be. It sounds like a funny prayer request but it would be so appreciated because it has stretched me to my limits at times, considering that I’m not usually one to back down and not lead.

On another note, Sunday at Zambian church (which is quite an experience and should be on everyone’s bucket list), Pastor Rafael talked about if God is calling you and if you are being disobedient to the Lord’s plans or obedient. It hit home for me and made me really think. Church here is nothing like American church; you can see the joy clearly on the faces of the Zambians. We dance and sing and shout praises to the Lord like there is no tomorrow. Because what if there isn’t a tomorrow? We are not guaranteed even another breath, let alone a whole other day. Living here and seeing real poverty and real despair relentlessly remind me that life is fragile. Seeing Violet, who has no parents and is blind in one eye, makes me question what I consider to be “problems.” There are times that mine seem downright meager and whiny. God loves us all the same; I was not made better than them. I am not entitled to more than them by any means. My every breath is a gift, just like every breath that these kids here take is a breath. God has richly blessed me here in this life, but someday these kiddos will receive the blessings of God as well, which is the theme for camp this week, The Kingdom of God. I can’t wait to tell them about being the princes and princesses of a majestic King! As the Zambians always say, “I AM BLESSED!”

Welcome Home!

Well, I made it here! It was crazy for me to be flying from London over Europe because I just kept thinking about how I was flying over Katie and Emily! How neat that we all get to have such cool experiences this summer! But 22 hours of flying later and I landed in Lusaka. Once again, I stepped off the plane and felt like royalty being welcomed home with the rush of God’s love that filled my heart. It really is incredible how much I love this place. I feel my heart become more alive more and more with every breath I take here because Zambia is home for me. I feel God breathing for me, and I never take a moment for granted here because I am constantly reminded of how blessed my life is in America. The differences in living between Zambia and America never cease to amaze me. Red dirt covers all of my clothes, I am never fully clean, I am constantly hungry, and Summer Staff has been more hard work than I even knew I was capable of doing in one day, but I go to bed at night feeling productive and accomplished knowing that all of the hard work I do is going to benefit those sweet little faces that I dearly love. Those faces are the purpose for everything I do. Whether it is sorting t-shirts or lifting 50 heavy boxes that I didn’t know I was strong enough to lift, I am able to see purpose in it. I never get a break, and when we got here at 6 in the morning they made us work so hard all day, but it is COMPLETELY worth it! It is so hard for me to put my days into words, because they won’t even begin to adequately describe the joy that fills each moment!

So today, I got to go to the Tree of Life Children’s Village and help make Violet’s bed. Yes, you read correctly, VIOLET’S BED, because she is moving in there tomorrow! I can’t tell you how long I have dreamed of this moment for her, and not only is she moving in, but I get to be there! As many of you know, the Lord blessed me last year by letting my life path cross with Violet’s. She is my little girl, and I love her more than I can even explain. I have spent the year praying fervently over her life and begging God to keep her in the palm of His mighty hand. I promised her this time last year that I would do everything in my power to make her life better, because I felt like God had entrusted her life into my hands. I couldn’t just let her keep on living her life sleeping in the corner of the dirt floor in a house that is smaller than my one car garage! And so God started working, and here we are one year later, and Violet’s life has been dramatically changed by the grace of my loving God. The house is brand new and is called the Freedom House, which could not be more perfect for my little girl. Free from poverty and she is getting to live in a place that is the closest you get to Heaven in Zambia. The Tree of Life is unbelievable! I get chills every time I am there because it is drastically changing the lives of so many formerly abused children. They are free to be children there, to play and laugh and dance and sing. Trust me, you have never seen joy like the joy in the faces of the children at the Tree of Life!

Finally, God continually reveals more of Himself to me here. On the plane I had this strong prod on my heart to search the Bible for verses on love, so that’s exactly what I did. I went to the glossary, looked up the word “love,” and started copying every verse into my journal that had the word “love” in it. I have never learned so much about God in one sitting, and I was speechless at what a MIGHTY, POWERFUL, GRACIOUS, MERCIFUL, GOOD, FAITHFUL, and STEADFASTLY LOVING God I serve! And I see it more and more everyday here. Oh how I wish I could convey the joy that fills my soul! I tear up when I think about it, which is every moment here because I see all of Him in all that I am blessed to do here. I teared up today looking at Violet’s bed, and I know the waterworks are going to flow big time tomorrow when that moment I have dreamed of all year is finally a reality: I am going to hold her in my arms TOMORROW! I get to talk to her, to tell her I love her, to hug and kiss her, and to lather her in love, a love that is nothing from me but straight from the Lord Himself. Only He is good enough to put Violet and I in each other’s life, only God is faithful enough to fill me up completely though I am alone here and am still making friends. If you leave reading this with any encouragement, let it be that God loves you SO much. I know that is something we hear all the time, but I see daily examples of it here, both in my life and especially in the lives of Zambian children who have been rescued out of darkness and drawn into the brightest of lights. You can see it in their eyes and smiles, feel it in their hugs. God just constantly whispers to me “Nikukonda, Megan, Nikukonda.” Yes, Lord I know. I love you so much too.