Draw Me Near

Thick clouds, high humidity, no sunshine -  this is the kind of day in that makes you wonder why you ever decided to live in College Station. The air is so heavy that you think it should for sure rain, but then it doesn't. It never rains. The air is oppressive and ends up challenging your "happy" mood. For whatever reason, days like this always make me think really deeply. They make me question myself a lot because I struggle with loneliness. When the sun is out, it's like the whole world is smiling and in a good mood, but when the clouds set in like this, something heavy begins to weigh on my soul. These are the days where I remember that God is my rock and my steadfast confidant, because otherwise I feel so alone all buried in my books and schoolwork. 

I hate to be by myself, I've actually never like it at all. I don't like to waste time, and I often feel like if I am not giving of my time to someone else, then I am wasting it. But the Lord is teaching me that I need to learn to "Be Still" and ponder Him. I need to allow my soul to have time with Him, to pray and to sit and listen. Since I am an energetic busy body, this is a struggle for me. I feel unproductive and downright anti-social. However, the Lord is constantly reminding me that this is not me being anti-social, but instead me spending time with the best friend I could ever have. This is the one friend who will never hurt my feelings or forget about me... No, this is a constant and consistent friend. This is a friend that gives the wisest advice there is, I mean He would know, He created the whole world and knows every intricate part of it. The sunny days allow me to see God's beautiful creation, but the cloudy ones teach me how to rest confidently in His UNFAILING and CONSISTENT presence. Though the cloudy days are a much more painful struggle, they are the days that draw me nearer to my very best friend.