The Air I Breathe

2014 is here and is already flying by, but since 2013 came to a close a few weeks ago, I have been doing some reflecting (what else is new, I can’t help but over analyze and reflect). 2013 was a big year in my life. It was a year where I traveled to all over the globe to Zambia, Mexico, London, Paris, Munich, Berlin, Interlaken, Rome, Nashville, and New York. It was the year where I graduated from my favorite school in the world – Texas A&M. It was the year that I took a leap of faith and followed God’s calling to move to Houston, Texas, away from my family and all that I was comfortable with. It was the year where I started my first job – a job that can only be accredited to God’s faithfulness and perfect plan. It was the year where I began to truly understand the significance of devoted friends who are unwaveringly loyal and a family who is a unconditionally welcoming and wanting of you, regardless of your every flaw. It was a year where I saw the fragility of life as my beloved grandmother got diagnosed with breast cancer while my grandfather died a slow death with Alzheimers.  It was a year where God held my hand relentlessly as I faced so many unknowns, all the while whispering in my ear that He was in control and knew exactly what my future looked like, despite my oftentimes crippling fear to move forward. It was a year where God infused my life with new friendships and all the laughter and delight that comes with that phenomenal blessing.

Looking at my year like that takes my breath away. It was beautifully painful and heart-wrenchingly brilliant at the same time. As I look at that list, I realize that it takes my breath away because it seems too much for me to handle - the good, the bad, and the ugly was all too much for me to breathe through on my own. But then I realize something else: through the pleasure, ache, laughter, and weeping in the seasons, Jesus was the very air I breathed.

I meditate on the moment in Interlaken, Switzerland in June when my best friend and I spent a day hiking through the Alps while reading Psalm 23 as we walked by the rushing waters of a stream. Then I think about the moment where I stood in Houston’s Hobby Airport sobbing by baggage claim like a two year old after saying goodbye to my family on the plane, knowing in that moment that I was alone in a new city and that I was completely unsure of what lay ahead of me. There are so many moments like those in the past year – the ups and downs of life felt more steep this year than most. Yet, He was in every single moment, enriching the joy or carrying through the heartache.  In Jesus alone there was life, because He was the very air I breathed. Without His breathe in my lungs, I wouldn’t have made it, and there is something so mysteriously comforting to know that my breath is actually HIS breath. I want every breath for the rest of my life to be His, because looking back at this year I can only see God’s glorious power and magnificent compassion. He was my enjoyable travel buddy, my biggest cheerleader, my trustworthy confidante, my primary encourager, my tender soul mate, my faithful best friend, and my adoring daddy. He was in every moment and generously gave me air for every breath I took during 2013. What an inconceivably grace-filled year full of the mountains and valleys that make this journey called life so compellingly beautiful. Here’s to a past year full of memories that were transformative, and new year of opportunities to be molded.