Oxygen

I know that it has been awhile since I have posted on here, but I tend to write when life is going well. When life is going well, the words pour forth, but when the going gets tough, the words don’t come. I think I feel like if I write during hard times, then that makes the hard thing that much more real, and I don’t want to have to feel it that deeply or give anyone the chance to read my real feelings on a hard situation. So I close up and I don’t write about it. But I realize that there are lessons to be learned in both the good and the bad times. This semester has tested me more than any other point in my life. God has asked me constantly, “Where do you turn when the going gets tough?” I have had to battle this constantly within, but I want to put this in writing today. After months of struggling (and actually still being in the struggle), my answer to that question is, “I choose YOU, Lord. Above all else, in both the good and the bad, you are my refuge and my stronghold. I will always turn to you.” My faith has become my own through this journey, and that is one of the greatest gifts that I have ever received. God is my oxygen, and when I don’t think I am going to make it to the next moment, the small prayers are the oxygen that connect the moments, and before I know it, another day has passed and I have once again survived the pain. God always pulls me through, even though it’s not ever easy. He is the reason I live, because He gives purpose to every moment of everyday. I don’t know if this makes sense, but I hope that this encourages even just one person. Life is hard, but God is always here and always with you. You are NEVER ALONE. Let God be your oxygen when you don’t think you can take another breath, and before you know it, you will have made it through another day.

This psalm has been so encouraging to me lately. Pour out your complaints to God, He is your very best friend in the world and will never leave you.

You Are My Refuge

With my voice I cry out to the Lord;

with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord.

2 

I pour out my complaint before him;

I tell my trouble before him.

3

When my spirit faints within me,

you know my way!

In the path where I walk

they have hidden a trap for me.

4 

Look to the right and see:

there is none who takes notice of me;

no refuge remains to me;

no one cares for my soul.

5 

I cry to you, O Lord;

I say, “You are my refuge,

my portion in the land of the living.”

6 

Attend to my cry,

for I am brought very low!

Deliver me from my persecutors,

for they are too strong for me!

7 

Bring me out of prison,

that I may give thanks to your name!

The righteous will surround me,

for you will deal bountifully with me.

Mountains and Valleys

It's been awhile since I've posted on here...A very, very long while actually. But I just haven't had anything to say. The Lord has been working on my heart and I haven't had the words to write throughout this time in my life. I noticed the fact that I hadn't been writing in February and it shook me up a bit. However, I think that has been a part of God's plan for this time in my life. You see, when I write it is because I am inspired. It's usually about something profound that the Lord is doing in my life or about some event that has really molded and shaped me, but lately I haven't had the words, which has been the Lord's way of drawing me near to Him. He hasn't wanted me to have the words because He has wanted me to be still in His Presence and not constantly move.

So that's exactly what I've done, I've sat. For about three months, I have had many a quiet moment on top of my roof here in College Station where I have sat and felt the breeze and let the Lord work on my heart. I didn't know how He was working exactly, but He was and all that I knew to do was to just sit there and give Him the time He has needed to work. It's been like salt on wounds at times, but in the midst of that pain, salt cleans out the infection and heals the cuts. So here I am having words for the first time in months, and it feels wonderful to be back. I'm becoming Megan again - slowly but surely that is.

We've all heard that life is a series of mountains and valleys, and I sit here tonight thanking God for both. Neither is fun, but in the valleys we draw near because we need a life raft out, and on the mountains we draw near because we are physically closer to Heaven. And with every mountain and valley that I conquer with the Lord, I am one mountain and valley closer to reaching flat ground - an eternity in Heaven that I have been thoroughly prepared for because by then, I will be too tired to cross anything else.

I want to share this quote with you. It is my all-time favorite quote and I pray that it helps give some perspective, because it always does for me.

" Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - Work - Family - Health - Friends - Spirit, and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls -- family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?

1. Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special. 

2. Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you. 

3. Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless. 

4. Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.

5. Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

6. Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us together.

7. Don't be afraid to encounter risks It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

8. Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

9. Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going.

10. Don't forget that a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

11. Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

12. Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved."

From the book "Suzanne's Diary to Nicholas" by James Patterson