Life is beginning to slow down for me. It is such an odd sensation to go from having one of the busiest semesters of my life to having loads of free time all of the sudden. My days this semester had every minute scheduled from 6:30 a.m. until 2:00 a.m. the next morning with absolutely zero free time in there. And suddenly, here I am with commitments wrapping up, resulting in free time where I do not know what to do with myself. All semester I dreamed of having free time to do whatever I pleased, but now that I have it, I find myself slightly overwhelmed by all of the quiet moments.
I want to preface this by saying; none of this is a complaint in the slightest because the free time is quite lovely. It’s just a recalibration of priorities. I have been asking myself questions like:
· How am I going to deepen my relationship with the Lord?
· Who needs my time?
· How can I serve my roommates and show them love?
· Where can I volunteer in the Bryan/College Station area?
· How can I make people around me feel special?
These questions are helping me recalibrate my priorities. It is so hard for me to admit, but I spent this semester being very selfish. It was all about my commitments and how busy I always was. Me and I and my. Embarrassing, because this life isn’t even mine. God could take it away in a second, so I don’t know why I ever get confused about what’s important. If the Lord chose to take me today, I would want my last action on this earth to have been something that was serving others because that is what God intended for us to do. Jesus’ last action on this earth was dying on a cross for our sins; He was perfect and didn’t need to suffer on our behalf, yet He selflessly did. So in this recalibration period of my life, I am praying that God would allow me to walk with His eyes, seeing the need and hurt of those around me. I am praying that He would teach me what compassion looks like, to not view people as worthless if they aren’t like me, but to view them as an equal because God created them as well. Recalibration is quite humbling, but it is drawing me near to the heart of God and breaking my heart for what breaks His more and more.
