Psalm 139:13-16

She is such a goofball.

She is so loving.

She is mischievous.

She loves to laugh.

She's got sass.

She wants my hair.

She exudes joy.

She is fearfully and wonderfully made. 

I love this little one and am blessed to hold her in my heart.

To A Special Friend

Deeply thankful for this sweet friendship in my life.

Chloe,

Thank you for being a constant source of encouragement and joy to me everyday. I love the laughter we share together, and I love the deep conversations as well. I know that I can always count on you, and I value your insight and wisdom more than anything. I am going to miss you terribly, and I hate that we will no longer be able to have our wonderful date days full of books, blogging, coffee, and licorice wheels, but we’ll just have to improvise with electronic “lunch dates” (which are always going to be the highlight of my week.) I cannot wait to walk alongside you on this adventure, and I pray that one day we will be able to adventure alongside one another. We are two hearts with one beat, and not even two different continents will separate us. I am always here for you and you are always in my prayers. I love you and am so proud of the way you follow Jesus. Your faith is inspiring. God has gifted you with an ability to love and feel deeper than the average person, a gift that will serve you well as you attempt to walk alongside a broken people who are in dire need of someone to bring light into their lives. You carry that light, Chlo, and they are going to see it in all that you do. Hold those babies gently, hug those broken-hearted women tightly, and relish the joy of holding the hand of an orphan who is a prince or princess of our Savior.  Breathe in the life that is in air of Africa, the life that our God created to bring Him joy. Savor every moment spent with those people, and work hard so that when you go to bed at night, you are peacefully exhausted from fulfilling God’s will.

There will be hard days for sure, but this life was never promised to be easy, and you know that. Taking “the road less traveled” like Christ has called you to do is going to result in some struggles. But “Count it all joy, my sister, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4)

Do not lose heart even when things are hard, and know that you are never alone. You are following God’s call: “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” (James 1:27)

God will build you up when you are lowly in spirit:

And it shall be said, “Build up, build up, prepare the way, remove every obstruction from my people’s way.” For thus, says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, who name is Holy; “I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite.” (Isaiah 57: 14-15)

And God has asked this of you. I truly believe God is going to raise up generations in these African nations that will glorify Him if we are faithful in following His calling:

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion – to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified. They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastations; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.” (Isaiah 61: 1-4)

I love you, Chlo, so very much. Keep running hard after Jesus.

Your sister in Christ,

Megan

Wrestling

Jacob Wrestles with God

The same night he arose and took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. He took them and sent them across the stream, and everything else that he had. And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, "Let me go, for the day has broken." But Jacob said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." And he said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob." Then he said, "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed." Then Jacob asked him, "Please tell me your name." But he said, "Why is it that you ask my name?" And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying, "For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered." The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. Therefore to this day the people of Israel do not eat the sinew of the thigh that is on the hip socket, because he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip on the sinew of the thigh. –Genesis 32:22-32

This is a passage I learned about in Sunday school from the time I was a small child. But it has never really had meaning in my life until now. Ok I am about to get vulnerable; I am wrestling with God. Never have I struggled through a passage of Scripture more in my life. As I have struggled through some issues with God, I remembered this passage and opened my Bible to it. But it lay barren in front of me, lifeless on the page and confusing to my mind. Yes, I could read the words, but I couldn’t grasp what the words were saying. Everyday for about a week I read this passage, knowing that God had something He wanted me to see through this passage. And then one night it clicked. Jacob demanded to know who God was, demanded that he be blessed. And because of his persistence to know and understand God, God blessed him. Jacob was blessed for his wrestling. I thought I was sinning for questioning God, but if we look back over the Bible, so many of God’s “greats” have questioned Him. It doesn’t mean that they don’t believe, but it is that they desire to know Him more. Abraham questioned where his promised son was, Job questions if God hears him, David cries out to God several times feeling forsaken, Esther questions if she has the courage to stand up to King Xerxes, Jacob literally wrestles with God…The list could go on and on. All of God’s greats have questioned/wrestled Him at some point, because you only get stronger through the struggle.

A good friend told me that your spiritual growth is much like your physical growth, you have to exercise new muscles in order to make a difference, but you cannot do the same exercises forever. You eventually plateau and have to run farther in order to get stronger. Our faith is the same way. If you never ask God why, you can never see His goodness, love, and mercy in more depth, because I truly believe He only reveals that to those who seek to know it. That is what separates people, because you have to be willing to grow in order to know God deeper, because the growth requires pain at times. Growth is not for the faint at heart. In fact, Jacob walked away from his wrestling match with a limp, but He also walked away with a new name, Israel, which means, “He strives with God.” Yes, Jacob made many mistakes, all of these people did. But he also was the father of the nation of Israel as a result of his wrestling. So as I wrestle and struggle to understand why God has asked me to go to Africa and spend my life there, I rest confidently knowing that this is growth in its highest form. I am fully confident that while I will come out of this with a few bruises and “limps,” those limps will be what make me more dependent on God and more accepting of His will. It cannot wait to adventure further with Him as He becomes stronger in my life and my limps make me more dependent upon His help.

But he said to me “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly f my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with my weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. -2 Corinthians 12:9-10