With each passing day, my soul craves Jesus more. As I have mentioned several times in past posts, the journey that I have been on these past few months has been full of rocky terrain. I have wrestled with my doubt, insecurity, and the meaning of true joy more now than ever before in my life. Having grown up in a Christian household where I attended church and youth group every Sunday, trials and rocky patches were things that I heard about but never really thought would hit me. But I feel like real life has begun lately, and I realize now that the innocence of youth is gone. I see with clarity the brokenness and pain in this world. I see the poverty of orphans and the pride of wealthy Americans, and my heart breaks. “Lord, this world is a mess!” There is no fix, and the news informs us that our country is falling apart. There is threat of terrorism all around, and we live with the constant fear that our world could end in a second because of nuclear weapons.
Never before in my life have I lived with the constant urgency that Jesus could be coming back tomorrow, and I remember that I would feel guilty when we would have talks about it in youth group because I was lucky if the thought of Jesus returning crossed my mind every two months or so. But now, the thought of Jesus’ return is the fuel that pushes me through my day. It is the hope that I cling to. One day, this brokenness will be fully repaired when my glorious King comes back to redeem this aching earth. There will never be an end to joy. Imagine that for a moment. Imagine your best day where everything you love happens and it is full of happiness. Not to be a downer, but there is always an end to that perfect day. It cannot go on forever, because that is what sin has done to this earth. It has put an end on all things good. Sadness is the end to happiness, night is the end to light, and death is the end to life. However one day, ONE GLORIOUS DAY, there will be no end to joy. It’s called eternity, and in eternity there is perfect peace, perfect life, and perfect joy. That is the hope that I cling to each day. Though my soul is weary and exhausted here, I cling to the knowledge that one day I will get to talk to my best friend, Jesus, face to face, for as long as I want. There won’t be an hourly limit to it because there will be no concept of time in Heaven. My love language is quality time and I thrive when the people who love me the most give me a huge chunk of their time. There is no better gift that anyone could give me. And in Heaven, I won’t even have to ask for time because quality time will never end there! There will not be fractured relationships. It will be 10,000 times better than the best day you can even fathom here, and there will be no end to this incomprehensible day.
Though I am exhausted here on this earth and I crave time with my King more and more with each passing day, I trek on here with joy, knowing that I only get to meet Him once I have fulfilled my purpose here on this earth. So I give 110% to trying to meet that purpose so that magnificent day comes as quickly as possible, knowing that as I maneuver through this life, my God is faithful and never lets me go. He pushes me to my limit yet never gives me more than I can bear, because the more I feel overwhelmed the more I need Him. With each passing day, I become more needy than the day before because more and more I am hit with the reality that I am nothing special and that Christ is the only special thing about me. He is what makes my life here worthwhile. The more I yearn to encounter Him, the more I grasp that He can’t wait to meet me also. He looks forward to our time together each day as much as I do, and one day we are going to get to spend all of eternity together. It is going to be the reunion of all reunions, the wedding day of all wedding days, and I cannot wait. Jesus, my soul craves eternity with you. Come back and rescue this world soon.
